Tag / matthew 18

by In Light Of The Cross

Asking Questions Instead of Making Accusations

Photo by Cytonn Photography on Pexels.com

I really enjoyed studying this week’s Sabbath School lesson, as it shows us how to handle situations where we suspect sin and apostasy appropriately. At the beginning of Joshua 22, Israel was concerned about their brothers’ actions, and they had every right to be. But after a proper investigation, there was understanding and reconciliation amongst the tribes. War was averted when they asked questions rather than issuing threats. Many of them were afraid the rebellion in Numbers 25 was about to repeat itself. Instead, wisdom and discernment helped them see the difference between what happened in Moab and what was actually happening on the other side of Jordan. 

When suspecting sin and apostasy, it is so much better to ask questions instead of making accusations. Consider how God handled sin and rebellion in Genesis 3. Instead of telling Adam, “I know where you are!” God asked, “Where are you?” Genesis 3:9. Instead of telling Adam, “I know what you did!” He asked him, “Have you eaten from the tree I told you not to?” Instead of telling Adam, “The reason you are naked is that you disobeyed!” He asked Adam, “Who told you that you were naked?” Genesis 3:11. If an all-knowing God asked questions instead of making accusations, how much more should we be asking questions (If it is even any of our business) instead of making accusations. 

Even when King Nebuchadnezzar got angry at the three Hebrews for not bowing to his image, even in his pagan fury, he was wise enough to ask questions rather than make an accusation when he asked the young Hebrew men if it was true that they had refused to bow. Daniel 3:14, 

In Matthew 18:15-20, Jesus gives us three steps to follow when seeking reconciliation with a brother. 1. Go to the brother we have the issue with and try to settle it just between the two of you. 2. If that does not work, find a mediator to hear the matter and help reconcile. It is important to note that Jesus did not say to give your side of the story to the mediator before meeting with the other brother. The mediator should hear both sides of the story at the meeting; otherwise, he will naturally be biased. Then, if that does not work, take the issue to the entire church. However, before even beginning this process, consider this proverb.

Sensible people control their temper; they earn respect by overlooking wrongs. Proverbs 19:11 NLT 

If it is worth pursuing, remember that the counsel of Matthew 18 works best as an inquiry, where questions are first asked, instead of beginning with accusations. 

by In Light Of The Cross

When is it a Good Idea NOT to Follow Bible Counsel?

DTTFL
I am writing tonight from the beautiful Tampa Bay area.
A few years ago I was talking to a head elder, who had rushed to judgment and taken it upon himself to take “executive” action against another church member. I asked him if he had followed the counsel in Matthew 18, and talked to the member first. He boldly told me he did not need to follow any of the steps in Matthew 18, because he already knew from one source exactly what was going on. When he said that my heart sank! I was talking to a Seventh-day Adventist head elder, boldly telling me that he did not need to follow the Bible, and why! I wish I could say that is the only time that has ever happened but it is not. I still believe these are inspired words…..

Moreover if thy brother shall trespass against thee, go and tell him his fault between thee and him alone: if he shall hear thee, thou hast gained thy brother. But if he will not hear [thee, then] take with thee one or two more, that in the mouth of two or three witnesses every word may be established. And if he shall neglect to hear them, tell [it] unto the church: but if he neglect to hear the church, let him be unto thee as a heathen man and a publican. Matthew 18:15-17

This counsel rarely ever gets followed. How much better our world and church would be if people would follow this counsel from Jesus.

Here is what I have seen happen too often. Someone actually tries to follow this counsel, but at step 2, when he tries to get a brother to go along, the brother perceives it as gossip and does not want to meddle in the situation even though this is exactly what Jesus says to do. Or, instead of being neutral, that person gets an ear load from one side and goes into the meeting very biased.

Even more sadly, I have talked with church leaders who passed judgment on another member without ever hearing that person’s side of the story or going to them personally first. They clearly admitted they did not follow the counsel of Matthew 18because they already had all the evidence without needing to follow Matthew 18. What? You don’t need to follow Bible counsel because you already have the full scoop? Since when was following the Bible optional? Apparently it happens all the time. To me this is the most sad situation of the three, because the people not following Matthew 18 know they are not following it and don’t care, but they still think they are fit to be church leaders while intentionally ignoring Bible counsel.

Before many churches can heal and move forward in proclaiming the gospel, they need to make sure they are following the gospel themselves. We need to make sure we follow Matthew 18 when a problem arises and go to our brother or sister one on one without anyone else knowing. Most problems can be resolved at step one. If not, then step two means we should take along another party who can hear both sides of the story at the same time, and not get an ear full from one side before even hearing the other side. This talking to another person and stacking the deck in one’s favor is very easy for humans to do, but with God’s grace we can avoid this temptation – especially if we are honestly wanting truth to win.

The third step is to take it to the church. At this point the church should not be afraid to handle the matter. It is not gossip at this point; it is Bible counsel. In 1 Corinthians 6 Paul tells the church it will be judging angels and needs to be judging its own issues.

When we reject Bible counsel everyone loses. When we follow Bible counsel there is redemption for all.

You may study this week’s Sabbath School lesson here. 

by In Light Of The Cross

Matthew 18; When is it a Good Idea Not To Follow Bible Counsel?

I am re-sharing this post while golfing and seeing friends and family in Texas and Tennessee. I took this picture in Fort Worth on Tuesday, December 20, 2011.

Moreover if thy brother shall trespass against thee, go and tell him his fault between thee and him alone: if he shall hear thee, thou hast gained thy brother. But if he will not hear [thee, then] take with thee one or two more, that in the mouth of two or three witnesses every word may be established.  And if he shall neglect to hear them, tell [it] unto the church: but if he neglect to hear the church, let him be unto thee as a heathen man and a publican.  Matthew 18:15-17

 

This counsel rarely ever gets followed. How much better our world and church would be if people would follow this counsel from Jesus. Here is what I have seen happen too often. Someone actually tries to follow this counsel, but when they go to step 2 and get a brother to go along, the brother perceives it as gossip and does not want to meddle in the situation even though this is exactly what Jesus says to do. Or, instead of the third party being neutral, they get an ear load from one side and go into the meeting very biased. And even more sadly, I have talked with church leaders who passed judgment on another member without ever hearing their side of the story or going to them personally first, and they clearly admitted they did not follow the counsel of Matthew 18 because they already had all the evidence without needing to follow Matthew 18. What? You don’t need to follow Bible counsel because you already have the full scoop? Since when was following the Bible optional? Apparently it happens all the time. This to me is the most sad situation of the three, because the people not following Matthew 18 know they are not following it and don’t care, but still think they are fit to be church leaders while intentionally ignoring Bible counsel.

 

Before many churches can heal and move forward in proclaiming the gospel, they need to make sure they are following the gospel themselves. We need to make sure we follow Matthew 18 when a problem arises and go to our brother one on one without anyone else knowing. Most problems can be resolved at step one. If not, then step two means we should take along another party who can hear both sides of the story at the same time, and not get an ear full from one side before they even get to talk to the other side. This is stacking the deck in ones favor, very easy for humans to do, but with God’s grace we can avoid this temptation especially if we are honestly wanting truth to win. Thirdly take it to the church. At this point the church should not be afraid to handle the matter. It is not gossip at this point, it is Bible counsel. In 1 Corinthians 6 Paul tells the church it will be judging angels and needs to be judging its own issues.

 

When we reject Bible counsel everyone loses. When we follow Bible counsel there is redemption for all.