Tag / Husbands and Wives Together at the Cross

by In Light Of The Cross

How A Proper Understanding Of The Heavenly Trio Keeps Churches and Families From Falling Under A Dictatorship

Submitting to one another in the fear of God. Ephesians 5:21 NKJV

Do you picture God as just one Being who is a dictator, or do you picture God being a heavenly Trio made up of three persons creating a community of love? If we view God as a single dictator then it is highly likely our families and churches will fall under a dictatorship mentality. If we view God as three persons, the Father, Son and Holy Spirit, each one creating a community of love, then it is more likely our families and churches will follow the same model. 

1 John 4:8 tells us God is love. Love is being others centered. Even before another creature was ever created God was love, because God was three Persons, each one centered on the needs of the other. 1 Corinthians 13 describes love so it must also be describing God. 

It does not demand its own way.  1 Corinthians 13:5 NLT 

Love does not demand its own way. If God is love does He demand His own way? No. In Matthew 26:39 you have the Son submitting to the Father, saying, “not my will but your will be done.” Did the Son submit to the Father because the Father had to have His own way? No. when being arrested Jesus said in Matthew 26:53 He could have asked the Father to send him 12 legions of angels to rescue Him and the Father would have complied. What you have in Matthew 26 is a heavenly family submitting to each other, the way Paul says families should all submit to one another in Ephesians 5:21 as well as the rest of Ephesians 5. God is all powerful but God is not all controlling. God is not a tyrant  calling all the shots. God is a community of love creating other communities of love. 

Lucifer, on the other hand wanted to destroy God’s community of love and set up His own dictatorship. In  Genesis 1:26 God said, “Let Us make man in Our image, according to Our likeness.” Notice how God did not speak as a lone dictator. God spoke as a community of love, using words like “us” and “ours.” Now notice how Lucifer spoke as he sought to destroy a community orientated government by attempting to set up his own dictatorship. 

For you have said in your heart: ‘I will ascend into heaven, I will exalt my throne above the stars of God; I will also sit on the mount of the congregation On the farthest sides of the north; I will ascend above the heights of the clouds, I will be like the Most High.’ Isaiah 14:13-14 NKJV 

Notice instead of using words like “us” and “ours” Lucifer is using words like “I” and “my.” Instead of a government being operated by a community of love Lucifer is introducing himself as a lone dictator. Lucifer is also creating something God never intended- a hierarchy. Remember God is all powerful but not all controlling. Lucifer now wants to be the lone dictator with total control. This is something God never intended-ever. God created Adam and Eve as equal partners. Not the same of course but equal. When they sinned in Genesis 3 they were blaming everyone but themselves. By saying others should have been more responsible they were saying others have more responsibility which creates a hierarchy. So when the Lord tells Eve in Genesis 3:16 that your husband will rule over you, He was not creating a hierarchy as much as He was telling Eve by passing blame and responsibility they had just created a hierarchy. 

In Ephesians 5:21 Paul tells us to submit to one another. In Ephesians 5 Paul is trying to destroy a hierarchy and tyrant model family, and replace it with a family like the heavenly Trio, which is a community of love model family. If we see God as just one person who is all controlling, then it is very likely our churches will fall under a hierarchy with one very controlling tyrannical  “leader” calling all the shots. It is also very likely that our families will fall under a hierarchy with one person dominating the rest of the family.

This obviously is not God’s plan. God never created a hierarchy. He never created a dictatorship. He created a community of love. Years ago my church was having evangelistic meetings. One night I was clearing several baptismal candidates for baptism while the baptistry sprang a leak. Deacons were working all night to fix the leak so we could have the baptism the next day,  while I cleared the candidates for baptism. We were working together. That night both our jobs were extremely important. The deacons and I were not the same. We had different functions, but we were equal. As the pastor on the church board, I have a multitude of counselors as Proverbs 15:22 suggests. God’s government is not a dictatorship and neither is my church family. I have worked with a church that changed its lead elder every year, but all the elders worked so well together they often forgot which one was the current lead elder. A community of love is like that. When teaching 1st graders I liked to play a game where one student stepped out of the room while a leader was chosen. When the student stepped back in, the class would be following the leader as the leader would pat her head or rub her stomach and then clap and so on. The others followed the leader mimicking the same motions so closely so that the student who was watching could not tell who the leader was. I believe our churches and families should be governed by a community of love, working so well and closely together that you can’t even tell who the leader is. 

We destroy Lucifer’s tyrannical dictatorship and hierarchy system when we revert back to God’s plan of a government which is a community of love, just as the Father, Son and Holy Spirit create a community of love.

If you view God as being one single dictator, then chances are when you read Ephesians 5 you only see the part about the husband being the head and the wife is supposed to submit to the husband. But if you understand the heavenly trio, and understand the Godhead is one family where each one submits to and serves the other, then chances are when you read Ephesians 5 you see more than just the husband being the head and the wife submitting to him. You will also see Ephesians 5:21 where we are to submit to each other. You will also see the part where the husband loves the wife so much he would die for her the same way Christ died for the church. You will see the wife respecting the husband, not because of his power and authority but because of his self-sacrificing love for her. 

Lucifer presents to our churches and families a government ruled by a  lone tyrannical dictator. The heavenly Trio offers our churches and families a government ruled by community and self sacrificing love. 

You may study this week’s Sabbath School lesson here.

by In Light Of The Cross

10: Husbands and Wives Together at the Cross-Sabbath School Lesson Teaching Plan

Prepared by William Earnhardt for Sabbath School Class, September 2, 2023.

Main Theme: Husbands and wives should be faithful and loving each other just as Christ is loving and faithful towards the church.

Read in Class: Ephesians 5:21-29. Discuss the main idea of this passage.

Study: As Paul, in Ephesians 5:25-27, 29, shapes his wedding-marriage metaphor for the church and its relationship with Christ, he draws creatively on the customs and roles of an ancient wedding. In relationship to the church as bride, Christ is the divine Bridegroom who:

  1. Loves the church as bride (Eph. 5:25). We must never forget that this is heart work for Jesus. He loves us!
  2. Gives Himself as the bride price. In the context of ancient wedding arrangements, the bridegroom would “purchase” the bride with the “bride price,” which was usually a large sum of money and valuables, so large that ancient village economies depended upon the custom. Christ pays the ultimate price for the church as His bride since He “gave Himself for her” (Eph. 5:25, NKJV). In the Incarnation and at the cross, He gives Himself as the bride price.
  3. Bathes His bride. The preparation of the bride was an important part of the ancient wedding festivities. As is also true today, it was the bridesmaids and female relatives of the bride who prepared her for the ceremony. Paul, though, imagines the divine Bridegroom preparing His bride for the wedding! It is He who sanctifies and cleanses her “by the washing of water” (Eph. 5:26, ESV), a probable reference to baptism.
  4. Speaks the word of promise. This cleansing is performed “with the word” (Eph. 5:26, ESV), pointing to the word of promise that the divine Bridegroom speaks to His bride, perhaps in the context of the betrothal ceremony (compare Eph. 1:3-14, Eph. 2:1-10, noting God’s promises to believers at the time of their conversion). Betrothal was the ancient version of modern engagement, but was a much more serious set of negotiations, which included a written agreement about the bride price (from the husband) and the dowry (assets the bride would bring to the marriage from her family).
  5. Prepares and adorns the bride. When the bride is finally presented to her Groom, she is fabulously beautiful, appearing in flawless splendor (Eph. 5:27). Christ not only bathes the bride; He prepares and adorns her as well.

Apply: How do these verses help us understand the way Christ feels about us? Why should we find this so comforting?

Share: Your friend says that she is enduring her husband’s abusive behavior in hopes that her submission and example will finally lead him to Christ. What do you tell your friend?

Read in Class: 2 Corinthians 11:1-4. Define the main idea of this passage.

Study: How does Paul use elements of the ancient wedding in appealing to Christians in Corinth? When does the presentation occur?

Apply: How does this imagery show you how much Christ cares for you?

Share: Your friend says the Bible is not inspired because it teaches the authority of the husband, which not how our society operates now. What do you tell your friend?

Read in Class: Ephesians 5:28-30. Discuss the main idea of this passage.

Study: What new argument does Paul use to encourage husbands to practice tender love toward their wives?

Apply: Paul cites the example of Jesus to both wives and husbands. What can you learn from Jesus about loving those in your own family circle?

Share: Your friend asks how the Godhead can be one but still have three members? How does the imagery of a husband and wife being one help you answer the question?

Read in Class: Genesis 2:15-25. Define the main idea of this passage.

Study: What happens in the story before the statement concerning a husband and wife being “one flesh” (Gen. 2:24)?

Apply: In what ways does Ephesians 5:33 serve as a concise summary of Paul’s counsel in Ephesians 5:21-32? If married, how can you seek to more fully implement these principles in your marriage?

Share: Can you think of a married couple who’s relationship expresses the love of God? Can you reach out to them and commend them for their Christian example?