
Last week my sister and I moved dad to her home in Tennessee. For the first time since 1954 dad no longer lives in Tulsa, Oklahoma. Dad was baptized in the Tulsa First Seventh-day Adventist church in 1958. Ever since then that is the only Adventist church he has ever been a member of. I find that interesting beings how I have been a member of 8 different churches, and have served in many more.
Now, for the first time ever, whenever I return to Tulsa I will have no family there. Since my mother died in Tulsa, and my dad just now finally moved, going home to see my parents has also always meant going back home to where I grew up. It’s always meant going back to the church I was born and raised in, with the church school I attended right across the parking lot. It’s always meant visiting Chimis Mexican restaurant where I started dining when it opened in the 80’s. Its also meant hanging out with the friends I grew up with and met living in Tulsa. I moved away from Tulsa in 1993, but have always come back to see family and friends.
I realized recently how I took going to see my parents and seeing my hometown for granted. What I mean by that is, I realize many of my friends moved as kids or their parents moved after my friends were grown. Therefore, for many, going to see parents does not necessarily mean going back home to where you grew up. Their parents live in different places now. But for me. ever since 1993 until now, going to see dad always meant going back home to where I grew up. For the first time in my almost 60 years, I have no family in Tulsa. Going to see dad won’t mean going home anymore. Except for the fact that he is living with my sister and I have also always considered that home too, but you get my point. Tulsa isn’t my hometown now. It was my hometown.
Of course I’ve always known you can never go home again. Tulsa in 2023 is not the Tulsa I was born into back in the 60’s. Actually the neighborhood my dad lived in the last 26 years did not even exist when I grew up in Tulsa. We lived by the Adventist church and school. Of course most of the members who worship there now were not around when I grew up there, and most all my friends have moved on just as I did. But some still remain. Of course when I go back to the Adventist school I attended its like walking into a school I never knew before. Walking into Tulsa Adventist Academy today is no more going home than walking into Atlanta Adventist Academy or Toronto Adventist School would be.
yes, you can never go home again and maybe that’s why I loved certain things about Tulsa. In some ways I could go home again. Chimis was nearly the same for over 40 years and I could eat there with some dear friends who I actually grew up in Tulsa with or met as a young adult. Braums, Mazzios Pizza and Quick Trips always took me back to my younger days. Still I miss Crystals Pizza, Casa Bonita, the Tulsa Roughnecks NASL team, and old friends who have moved away or fallen asleep. I miss the old revivals we had at the Tulsa Adventist church when Walter Wright would come to town. I miss the fresh fall breeze at the Tulsa State Fair. I miss zipping along I-244 as a teenager on my way back from seeing friends in Claremore, with my brand new driver’s license, listening to pop music on KRAV 96.5 without a care in the world, realizing my whole life was still in front of me.
But Tulsa has changed and so have I. We have both grown. And the cool thing is, I am realizing that while we can never go home again, in another sense we never leave home. When I left Tulsa in 1993 I moved to Fort Worth, Texas which at the time seemed a long way from Tulsa. But now that I have lived in the Tampa Bay Florida area for 20 years, I look back now on Tulsa and Fort Worth and they both seem so much closer to each other now. Why from Florida Tulsa and Fort Worth are practically neighbors. I am sure if I went to Australia Tampa and Tulsa would look like neighbors from there. I guess what I am trying to say is, Tulsa, Fort Worth and Tampa are all home now. When I go from one city to the other I don’t feel like I am leaving home or going home. I am home the entire time. Its like going from the den to the living room. Its all home. When I go from Tulsa to Fort worth to Tampa its all home now. While in one sense we can never go home again, in another sense we never leave home. We just expand the borders of our home to include our current home, friends, churches and hangout spots, and even new activities and traditions.
I am sure I will be returning to Tulsa, but it wont be the same, but then again it never was the same. While some people say things aren’t what they used to be, I say yes, but they also never were what they are now. Psalm 23:6 tells us God’s mercy and goodness follow us all the days of our lives. Why compare the past with the present when God’s goodness and mercy are always with us? I am not saying forget about the past. God blesses us with precious memories but He also blesses us with a precious present. I can’t go back to my childhood church of the ’60s, but you know what? The same God who was with me when I was baptized as a child in the Tulsa First Seventh-day Adventist church is the same God who is with me when I baptize a new member here in Florida. The same God who was with me when I was going to Tulsa Roughneck games with my friends in the 70’s is the same God who is with me when I go to Tampa Bay Rays games with my friends here in Tampa. The same God who was with me when I enjoyed Crystals Pizza with my family in the 70’s is with me as I eat at Cappys Pizza in Tampa with new family. God is my home. He aways has been and always will be,
Thank you for reminiscing with me. Sorry if I wandered and did not make a lot of sense. We tend to get that way when we get older and look back on a million different memores and try to make sense of them all, or think they can all be summed up on one phrase or theme. I may be a little melodramatic here too. After all, Tulsa is still there. It hasn’t changed in the last week since dad left. I can still and will go back to Tulsa to see friends. But still I know it will be different. Not bad just different. Thanks again for reminiscing with me. I owe you one.








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